I Don’t WANNA!!!

I am a Joy Coach. My passion is JOY, my business is JOY, and my life’s calling is JOY.

What happens on those days when I feel like a petulant 4 year old, stomping my feet, throwing a tantrum, and screaming “BUT I DON’T WANNA JOY TODAY”?

Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

Because we all have those days, even a Joy coach.

What happens on the days when it seems like the world is falling apart and it is getting harder to not feel hopeless about the state of humanity?

What happens when a loved one ends up in the hospital and you are in that limbo space, waiting to find out details?

What happens if you are that person in the hospital?  If you receive bad news?  If you find yourself in the midst of a break-up, a job loss, an unexpected set back in life.

How do you embrace Joy in those moments?

Quite honestly, I believe these moments are the ones where it is most vital to do so. FIND the JOY, to get you through the pain.

First, however, let me say this: I do not believe in false joy. I do not believe in putting on a happy face for the sake of others or to appear okay when you feel anything but.

I will not encourage anyone to shove feelings aside and “be happy”.

It does not work like that. All that creates is more internal struggle that in the end will become a block to true joy.  That is not the path I recommend. It isn’t the path I walk personally.

I am a big believer in feeling your feelings.  ALL OF THEM. Our emotions are valuable and essential to our well-being. If you are sad, scared, frustrated, angry, that matters. Feel those feelings. Process them. Just try not to unpack and live there.

It is in those moments, when I am in the midst of those feelings that I focus on the small joys. THAT is what prevents me from staying in the darkness for too long. THAT is what makes it feasible to get through the days when getting through seems impossible.

When I find myself stressed out and concerned for my loved one in the hospital and all I want is to crawl back into bed and ignore the world around me…I seek out the joys. The friends who step up to distract me and comfort me. The ability to take a walk and enjoy the sunshine. The chance to help someone else while I wait for answers.

When the world seems to have lost its collective mind, and my faith in humanity is wavering, I remember the words of Mr. Rogers (yes, that Mr. Rogers), and I find the helpers. I seek out social media stories of unsung heroes. I connect with like-minded friends and strangers, and search for ways to help, to make a change and an impact…to find hope again.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'” – Fred Rogers



So, back to the real question: But HOW?  When you are in the depths of the stress, the pain, the worry, HOW?

The little things. Look for the small joys. TINY little buds of hope.

Sometimes, when my anxiety is at its highest and I am struggling the most with simply existing, I look for a bird, a butterfly, a flower. I stop and listen to the sounds around me. I meditate, I pray, I listen to music.

And cat videos…cat videos always help.

Photo by Erik-Jan Leusink on Unsplash

The point is, when the immense pressure of it all is weighing me down, and finding joy seems like an insurmountable cause, I look for the small things.

And they help.

And the reason I am able to do this is because on the good days, on the days when life feels good, and manageable, I have created a Joy Practice. I have created Joy Habits. I have made it a way of life. Finding JOY is becoming a bit like breathing, not just essential to my survival, but something I do without even thinking about it.

Even when it hurts, I still breathe, and even when the world seems bleak, I find Joy.

Do you have a Joy Practice? Would you like some help creating one?  Check out the 5-Day Series below and reach out to me if you would like to chat about how to create habits that will carry you through on the off-days.

In times such as these, we need to come together and create pockets of Joy that will grow into a movement that will shift the world.  I want to help you join that movement. I want to help you be happy again.

We’ll be chatting about this LIVE in my FB Group Find Your Joy tomorrow, Thursday, August 17 at 9pm. Come on over and join us.