I lay in bed until 1 pm on Sunday, reading a book.
I wasn’t sick.
I wasn’t recovering from a long night of no sleep, a trip, physical exertion, or anything of the sort.
I just decided that I was going to lay in bed until I finished my book.
I got up for coffee twice, and breakfast once.
I made few phone calls, texted a few friends, and read my book.
It was FABULOUS.
And yet, I caught myself hearing the little voice in the back of my head SHOULD-ing all over me.
“You should really get up and go DO SOMETHING”
“You shouldn’t be in bed all day on Sunday, you should make plans, go to brunch, hang out with friends”.
“You shouldn’t be so lazy.”
“You should be working on your business”.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a bit, you also know that I no longer should all over myself. (All Out of Shoulds)
Coincidentally enough, (and I don’t believe in coincidences), I was reading Adventures for Your Soul, by Shannon Kaiser, and just so happened to be in the middle of a chapter all about changing your SHOULDs into COULDs.
So, I sort of laughed at the little voice.
I COULD get up and do something…or I COULD stay here, where I’m nice and comfortable and keep reading this amazing book that is in fact, inspiring me and giving me all sorts of ideas.
I COULD make plans, and go out in the cold. OR, I could stay inside and learn something.
I COULD erase the word lazy from my vocabulary because as someone who works a full-time job, works out several days a week, and has not one but TWO side-hustles, the last thing I am is lazy.
I COULD be working on my business…my business is JOY…this moment, in this bed, with this book (which just so happened to be all about happiness), is giving me tremendous JOY.
I COULD accept that I have worked really hard for the last decade to reach a place in my life where I can enjoy a Sunday morning in bed without guilt.
I COULD take this moment and let it be the catalyst to remind me that life does not have to be busy, hectic, and stressful.
That, in fact, the whole reason we all work so hard, and rush so much, and push so far, is so we can enjoy moments like these.
And yet, as a society, we frown upon rest and relaxation. Unless someone is sick or going through some sort of stressful trial, society will call them lazy if they choose to spend a day in bed. Or on the couch catching up on their favorite tv shows (although Netflix binging has become socially acceptable these days). Or wandering around small town shops, browsing for nothing in particular with no goal or destination in mind. Or sleeping.
Here’s the thing, most of us spend our entire lives working toward the weekend, vacations, retirement.
Yes, when those times of rest show up…we fill them with so much activity and so many responsibilities, that we lose sight of what it was we were looking forward to, to begin with.
There is always SOMETHING ELSE to do. And when there isn’t? We create something. Because “idle hands” and all that.
Why have we put so much stigma on rest and such high value on being BUSY.
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Another word to erase from my vocabulary…busy.
It’s as if we feel guilty when we achieve the very thing we are working so hard to achieve.
On Sunday morning my laundry was done, my house was clean, I had spent time with some friends earlier in the week, I had no plans, nowhere I needed to be, groceries could wait, no fires needed to be put out, and I’d been trying to give this book proper attention since August.
And I found myself with several hours of time and space in which to do so, in the comfort of my bed, which, by the way, I spent time and money to re-create a hotel-bed feel and look to. I LOVE my bed.
And yet, the little voice kept nagging at me not to be lazy, because I should be busy doing something.
So, I did. I made myself another cup of coffee, and I finished my book.
And I felt zero guilt or shame, in fact…I felt victorious. I felt successful and elated. Because I have created a life for myself filled with moments of JOY and ease.
I will not apologize for that. I will not justify it. I will not SHOULD all over it.
I hope you don’t either. Find those moments for yourself and embrace them. Celebrate them. And create MORE of them.
Stop filling your life with BUSY.
And for the love of all that is Joyful, stop using the word LAZY to describe yourself or your restful moments.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to just BE? Did you feel guilt or shame or pressure to to go do something or be somewhere? Could you have taken a breath instead and celebrated the victory of that moment?
Do you struggle to accept and embrace your Joys? Would you like to create a life for yourself in which you can learn to be present in the moments and not be rushing to the next thing?
I can help you with that. I’ll be going LIVE on my Facebook Group Wednesday night to chat more about this, but if you’d like to talk one-on-one, click below to schedule a discovery call.